Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Intense Autobiography:
As you can tell, I have a camera and it takes pictures. The one's you don't like are my camera's fault. And he says, "Take a hike!" He's not nice. We fight a lot (the camera and I). The battles are so epic that Peter Jackson is thinking about filming them to use in one of his new movies. They make Beowulf and Grendel's battles look like my grandmother's tea parties that I don't get invited to (she’s not nice as well). Don't worry she's dead. Now that I've made you feel awkward, look at my stuff.

My Philosophy
You didn’t ask, but much like that creepy person at the party who saw you all alone, I’m going to tell you anyways. Photography is that space between reality and fiction. It is an interpretation of the perceived world. It belongs to the person behind the camera The trick is teaching your camera to see what’s in your mind. Sometimes the planets line up and you capture the perfect moment. Other times, you’re sitting next to a rage broken tripod (not really—they’re expensive).

What's in my kit?

The Telephoto:

Whenever I hike, I carry three lenses with me. The first is always the telephoto lens. I never know what’s going to pop out on the trail, so I keep this in my hands at all times. This little bear cub (above) wandered to the side of the road. Now, you would think the momma bear that was near by should be my first concern. Actually, the car that backed into me as I took this picture was more dangerous.

The Macro:

The other lens I always carry in my kit is the macro lens. I love bugs (except when they surprise me and make me scream like a child in Walmart—it’s embarrassing). The picture above is one of my first shots with the macro lens. I was shooting a cross country meet and as I waited for the runners, he wandered up next to me. After startling him with my manly scream, he posed for me. This shot hooked me into photography.

The Wide Angle:
The wide angle lens is the final lens in my pack. It usually has a polarizer attached to it to help enhance the sky, water, or reflection. Bring a tripod for sharper shots, for extra weight training, and for defense.

Quick Facts (because you care):

Places You Will Most Likely Find Me: a mountain, Panera, Borders, teaching, or sleeping.

Top Three Books: The Stranger, The Shadow of the Wind, and The Alchemist.

Scariest Moment While Hiking: A Grizzly Bear walked on to the trail thirty feet in front of my wife and I. Do bears poop in the woods? I don’t know, but I sure did.

Top Three Favorite Films: Shawshank Redemption, the original Star Wars Trilogy (I know what you’re thinking—I’m cool!) and Edward Scissorhands.

Worse Job I Ever Had: I worked at KFC as a Shift Supervisor. I was robbed, covered in grease burns, wore a pink uniform, and only made six dollars an hour.

People I’ve Been Confused For: David Schwimmer, the first “Blues Clues” guy, and Keanu Reeves but slower.

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